Get the Monkeys Off Your Back!

Get the Monkeys Off Your Back!
by Robin L. Silverman

When you were little, you probably made a lot of wishes. So did I. Unfortunately, it always seemed to be a hit-or-miss proposition: sometimes they came true, but often, they didn't. So when I became an adult, I decided to see if there wasn't a way to smooth out the process and make it more reliable. By reading and experimenting with a combination of spiritual and scientific practices, I found that there are a few "secrets" that may be of use to you now.

Are you walking around with a monkey on your back? Most of us are. "Monkeys" are worries, regrets, anger and guilt that never keep quiet and refuse to sit still. They are born from the more than 50,000 thoughts each of us think each day, largely about things we cannot control, do not wish to see happen, won’t have time to experience or can’t let go. When it comes to mind and spirit self-improvement, monkeys are what hold us back from thinking clearly, reaching our goals and feeling more peaceful.

I know a lot about mental monkeys because I often feel like I am carrying around an entire zoo. "Go here!" one screeches. "No, go there!" another insists. They chatter on about my weight, my undone laundry and the garden I haven’t started. Depending on the day, the setting or whoever’s present in the room with me, they may remind me incessantly that I’m about to miss a deadline, a train or an important piece of the conversation because I’m still stewing about something someone said a dozen years ago.

Mental monkeys, unfortunately, sabotage all other self-improvement methods. If I set the alarm clock to work out, I hear, "I don’t want to get out of bed." If I try to meditate, they start talking about breakfast and the staff meeting at 10:00. Even trying something as simple as watching my breath is a challenge, since they’ll laugh and say, "You’re not doing it right!"

I’ve done my best to get rid of my monkeys, but it’s not so easy to do. No one else wants them. Have you ever seen the eyes of your friends or your co-workers glaze over when you try to give them some of what’s bothering you? I’ve tried ignoring my monkeys, but they just pop up in the middle of the night and, like infant children, scream until I’m awake enough to feed and comfort them. Soothing them with positive thoughts is only a temporary salve for their restlessness. Counseling silenced a few, but in time, their places were filled with new monkeys. I’ve thought about choking them more than once, but somehow that feels as if I’m suffocating a part of myself. I know lots of people who are carrying around dead monkeys on their backs, and they’re not happy about it.

Ultimately, I’ve come to realize that when it comes to mental monkeys, there’s only one thing to do: play with them. When I do, something very interesting happens. They stop annoying me and start adding tremendous fun and energy to my life. When they call out one of their usual negatives, I simply answer, "Well, what do you want to do instead?" The answer almost always turns out to be something that increases my personal freedom, helps me to grow, or brings me a moment of joy.

When I get my monkeys off my back and hold them close to my heart, I find that they are actually very loving little creatures loyal to my happiness and well-being. Here’s an example. One night after dinner, I headed for my computer for a few more hours of work. A monkey piped up right away: "You shouldn’t be doing that!" I knew within half an hour, he would make me feel heavy and tired, killing both my concentration and my enthusiasm for the project. Instead, I let him lead me to an hour of snuggling in front of the television with my daughter. We all had a few laughs, and I when went back upstairs to do the work, he whispered all kinds of funny, inspiring things in my ear that I knew my readers would love.

The older I get, the more I realize how important monkeys are and why it’s actually a good thing that we all have them. Life is uncertain, which tends to make people very serious about it. Hugging a monkey won’t get rid of your illness, your financial problems or your relationship woes, but it will make your heart and arms stronger and your spirit a little lighter. Once in a while, it will free up a solution that’s been caged behind a wall of misery. When that happens, monkeys feel like miracles.

Hugging your monkeys is like playing with an adorable toddler who loves you unconditionally. It allows you to forget what you think you have to do or be. Hugging a monkey makes anything possible. Ironically, monkeys are sometimes the only way to get to the relief your mind and spirit have been craving.

Want to try it? The first thing to do is recognize when you have a monkey on your back. There are many ways to know for sure. One is to look at the scale. Are you carrying the weight of the world—or a monkey—on your shoulders? I often find that when I’m feeling stressed, it’s because a worried or fearful monkey has jumped on board. If I’ve gained two or three pounds overnight, I can almost guarantee that I’m carrying a monkey.

Another way to know if you’re carrying a monkey is to see if you can hear your own thoughts. When my mind is racing, it’s usually because a monkey is chattering away. Another way to tell is to listen to what is coming out of your mouth. If suddenly my comments turn negative or nasty, I probably have a misbehaving monkey somewhere.

A third way to tell if you’re shouldering a monkey is to check how tired you are. Some monkeys are very heavy, and will wear you out after a few hours. If you’re normally perky and suddenly find that you’re yawning all day, you can bet that a monkey has something to do with it. Nightmares, upset stomachs, chills and other symptoms of upset can also mean that you’re carrying a monkey. Learn to listen to your body, and you’ll know when one is hanging around.

You can also tell if you have a monkey by looking around at the conditions of your environment. Monkeys are messy little things. If you have clutter everywhere or experience embarrassing moments that are akin to slipping on banana peels and falling flat on your butt, chance are good that some monkey is banging on your head.

Once you’re sure you’re carrying a monkey, the trick is to get it off your back and go face-to-face with it. Don’t try to scare it off or ignore it. Monkeys may retreat temporarily, but they almost always come back noisier and hungrier than before. Instead, ask it what it wants. You will usually find that its requests are something your soul has been craving, like love, freedom, joy, growth or peace.

Once you know, ask yourself, "What can I do right now in this moment to experience that?" This instantly engages and improves both your mind and spirit. Look around, and you will undoubtedly see an opportunity. Grab it.

Come fully awake as you’re doing it. Experience it not only with all five of your senses (note: if you’re not eating anything, see if the moment has a "flavor"), but with your sixth sense, intuition. In other words, don’t just live the moment; feel it. Let its pleasure make every cell of your body come alive. Praise it with words like, "This is fun!" or "I’m happy to be with you." Listen as the new, brighter belief escapes from your mouth. When it does, see if you have more energy, more hope or more genius insights about your life. Realize, too, that the vibration of sound is extremely powerful. Our creator spoke the world into being: "Let there be light." When it appeared, it was blessed, "This is good." The source did not curse it with, "Oops! Forgot the land and the water!" So remember: take notice of the good you’re experiencing. Energize it with spoken words of praise or gratitude.

Then watch what happens when the moment is over and you "return" to the problem that caused the monkey to squawk in the first place. Chances are good that it has either diminished, disappeared or been delegated to someone else. Trouble has a hard time sticking to happy people. This leaves you room to approach whatever is yours to do with a more relaxed attitude, opening the flow of energy so you can receive not only your own insights and wisdom, but attract that of others.

Here’s an example. Let’s say your monkey tells you you’ll never get a raise or a promotion at work. Instead, it wants to make more money and have more fun.

You look around. It’s almost 12:30, time for lunch. You could work at your desk through the lunch hour, but you’d done that dozens of times before, and hadn’t received a dime extra for it. So you head for the door. On the way, you see your favorite co-worker, and ask her to go with you. The two of you spend an hour laughing and telling stories.

When you get back, you receive an Email from the boss talking about how people have been coming in late. Ordinarily, you’d be annoyed by this. But now, fresh from play, you find yourself offering the suggestion that instead of complaining or threatening, that he try giving each person a feather to glue on a huge sombrero each day they make it in on time. If the hat is covered within 30 days, he promises to wear it to work for another 30, providing that everyone still comes in on time. In fact, you say, you’ll lend him the one you wore at your child’s birthday party. Within 60 days, the department has a new habit, you have some great pictures for the company holiday party, and you suddenly find that people start talking about you as a possible manager.

So if you want to improve your mind, your spirit and your life, take the monkeys off your back and give them a hug. Let them bring you into the present so you can spend a few minutes or hours enjoying the life that is already yours. When you do, you’ll likely find, as I did, that some of the things you worried about or regretted simply slipped away when you took your attention off them. That leaves you room to welcome the wonderful thoughts, hopes and desires that you’ve held back for too long. Listen to those, and your monkeys will be happy to hug and play with you for a long, long time.

© Copyright Robin L. Silverman.

Writing and the Cosmic Shopping Mall

Writing and the Cosmic Shopping Mall
by Emily Hanlon

Writing from the creative unconscious is like walking into a cosmic shopping mall where each shop offers a different persona for us to try on, actually a different way of being in relationship to ourselves and the world. The only means of exchange in this cosmic mall is exuberance, fearlessness and a desire to share and be shared. Oh, and there’s a key to the mall, too. We all have it in our pocket when we arrive, even if we don’t know it’s there. The key is a desire to break out of the box of who we think we are, who our families think we should be. It is a desire to fly in a place that, as John O’Donohue says, “is full of the most melodious and nourishing and wild freedom. And everyone should go there, to the wild place, where there are no cages, where there are no tight rooms without windows and without doors, everyone should go to the free clearance places in their own hearts.”

And so, with our keys, we enter the mall. There, in every window we see amazing costumes. Here there is a multi-colored cloak of the finest silks, feathers and gemstones. The price: a desire to shine. Here there is a hat that reaches the clouds and is made of glittering stars and moons floating in what seems to be space itself. The price: a desire to expand consciousness. There are shops with nothing but wings: dragon wings, fairy wings, butterfly wings, lace wings, velvet wings, silk wings in all colors known and unknown. The price: a desire to fly. The shops go on and on, for they are as cosmic as our creative potential. And what is even more amazing, is that just the perfect shops show themselves to you as you walk by.

I believe each time we return to this cosmic shopping mall, we find different shops… shops beyond persona, shops of beauty, depth and mystery that we weren’t ready to see when we first arrived. Our eyes and our hearts were not open enough. We were not ready to allow our spirits such freedom of expression and flight. But amazingly, as time passes and we integrate these new parts of self into who we are, we see that there was no shopping mall at all. That we never had to pick or choose – all that magnificence was inside us all along!

As creative women and men, we are at home in such mystery; we carry those rhythms, colors and songs inside ourselves. Once this becomes part of our consciousness, we are on a path from which there is no looking back.

© Copyright 2009 Emily Hanlon. All Rights Reserved.

Moon Times Jan Newsletter
Mood:  happy
Topic: archive newsletters

 

Subject: News from Moon Times;  News and SALE!! Products …. Please forward this newsletter to any friends, family or colleagues who may be interested!

www.moontimes.co.uk

Hi Ladies, This is a short newsletter just to highlight our Sale Items and let you know that Rachael gave birth to Dorothy Grace on 11th Jan (10 days late!) she was a healthy 8lbs 13oz- 4kg! We are slowly getting back in to the swing of things and managing to process orders within 7 days of them coming through. We are also phasing out the velcro fastening pads- replacing them with the press stud fasteners…we do have some velcro ones still in stock…if you specifically want some send us an email and we will let you know what we have left. Sale Items Earth Pathways Diary 2010. Spiral-bound. 21cms x 15 cms £10.99 or 2 for £20 http://www.moontimes.co.uk/shop/onsale/earth-pathways-diary-2010/ Moon Cycle Calendars Moon Phases for 2010- UK edition http://www.moontimes.co.uk/shop/onsale/mooncalendars/ plus teas, smudge sticks, some pads…check out the Sale Section http://www.moontimes.co.uk/shop/category/onsale/ I am finishing with a quote from The Pill book and a poem by Pam Chubbuck…. Take care, much love The Moon Times Team xxx

The Pill Book http://www.moontimes.co.uk/shop/books/the-pill/ “In Native American tradition there’s a beautiful saying that at her first period a girl meets her wisdom. Through her menstruating years she practices her wisdom, and at menopause she becomes her wisdom.” From The Pill: Are You Sure It’s for You? By Alexandra Pope and Jane Bennett, published by Allen and Unwin Blood time by Pam Chubbuck Finally ... Squatting ... Hovering over the moss ... I watch my blood Slowly drip onto the earth ... Drip Drop A glob of red ... I watch as I have never watched before... My blood. I breathe ... Smell the smell of it ... Fresh ... Alive ... Different than on a pad, old and brown... Or held within me ... Plugged up Inside Never to be seen Felt Acknowledged Flowed Celebrated Or allowed to be my teacher ... I see the inner juices of my body There on the living moss ... Soft Green Spongy, as I step Or sit or lie upon it ... Like the inner Uterine tissue lining - bed Which creates The possibility Of Spirit ... To take hold And turn to flesh. Blood Trickles slowly down my inner thigh ... I watch ... Time stands still Marked only by Drops of crimson as they hit the earth ... I enter dream-time ... The altered state of Blood-time ... This blood ... My blood ... Speaks to me ... Come into me And dance the dance of life It beacons ... You are Dancer Woman Powerful ... Fresh ... Feathered Hawk Woman ... Bleeding Time Woman ... I have mysteries To tell ... And power to unfold ... Listen with your heart ... Your blood pump of life ... As it moves The saline mother of all fluid ... Blood of passion ... Through your womanly body ... Come into me ... My blood calls ... I hold all things ... Known and unknown ... Come! See, feel, taste, smell ... Rejoice in! The secrets of your woman blood ... Pam Chubbuck is the author of Passages Into Womanhood: Empowering Girls to Love Themselves; What My Mother Never Told Me About Bleeding and Other Essential Stuff: Poems to Amuse, Enlighten, and Empower Women; and an audio book; Woman Spirit, a menarche myth, as well as several other books and articles. Passages Into Womanhood www.PassagesIntoWomanhood.com

It is not my intention to send out spam or unwanted mail, if you DO NOT wish to receive mailings from me in future, please reply to this e-mail and type REMOVE in the subject line. Your address will be removed from the list immediately.

 

 

 

announcing the birth of Dorothy Grace
Mood:  happy
Topic: Positive News!!

The Soul Loves Intimately
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Musings

The Soul Loves Intimately

The soul loves intimately, but the self is shrouded in fear. The soul knows that all things are facets of an infinitely faceted divine singularity; that each face you meet is, in fact, a unique expression of God. The self insists otherwise, mistaking each facet of God as a being separate from God and everything else, and envisioning a scarcity-driven, zero-sum world of competing selves forever condemned to a fearful and anxious existence. It isn't the soul that needs to hear the message of love, but the self. It isn't heaven that needs to be transformed by love, but earth.

"Why Angels Have Wings" Rami Shapiro

Shine Your New Spirituality Light
Mood:  bright
Topic: Musings

You are the light of the world. Do you not know this?

Everyone is, when they choose to be.

A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bushel. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way, let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and praise the beliefs which have sponsored them.

By this means you can help others span the chasm between yesterday and tomorrow, and close the gap between the comfort of tradition and the necessity of innovation.

For the world must now invent itself anew. Yet honor the past as you envision the future. Do not completely reject old beliefs, nor require anyone else to. Enlarge upon them, alter them where alteration seems appropriate, and invite others to do the same.

Let your New Spirituality be not the rejection, but the fulfillment, of all that your old religious laws and your ancient prophets have promised you. And when others ask what you are doing, say: Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them.
The New Revelations
Neale Donald Walsch

 

Happy New Year
Every day is a New Beginning.

 

A new cycle begins this day, yet a new cycle begins

every day. Indeed, every moment. So if you recognize

anything on this day, recognize what it symbolizes: The

miracle of the endlessly continuing Cycle of Life.

 

What a grand day! What a time for celebration! We

begin again today! We turn the page! And so, let go

of all that you do not wish to carry with you any further.

Any fear, any sadness, any anger, any resentment, any

disappointment, any lament...let it all go. And now, 

using the specialness of this day as a springboard, 

let's get on with Life!

VOTE for your Fav GREEN WEBSITES!

Please vote for this fab website....along with other great ones in different categories!

Love Rachael xxxxx

  Message from http://myzerowaste.com

 Our zero waste website, which has been our passion for the past 18 months has been shortlisted for the Green Web Awards. We have been nominated for the 'Green Living Advice sites" category.

We are up against two other companies - one being the Guardian newspaper with its several MILLION visitors per month! and the other against a great company called You Gen.

So far we are third - not just third, but embarrassingly lagging behind third!

Voting ends on Thursday, so if you can spare me 5 seconds, please click on the link below, scroll down until you find the 'Best green living advice" category and vote for My Zero Waste:

http://www.nigelsecostore.com/green-web-awards/vote/

We'd be so grateful; I know you are all busy people - you don't need to write back and say you've done it,. JUST DO IT! and maybe pass on our plea to your friends too.

Thank you and have a wonderful new year
Rae x

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing."

Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

http://myzerowaste.com

Joy and Sadness
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Musings

Joy and Sadness

Joy is life, expressing. The free flow of life energy is what you call joy. The essence of life is Oneness -- unity with All That Is. This is what life is: unity, expressing. The feeling of unity is the feeling that you call love. Therefore, in your language, it is said that the essence of life is love. Joy, then, is love, expressing freely.  Whenever the free and unlimited expression of life and love -- that is, the experience of unity and oneness with all things and with every sentient being -- is prohibited or limited by any circumstance or condition, the soul, which is joy itself, is not fully expressed. Joy not fully expressed is the feeling that you call sadness. Friendship With God Neale Donald Walsch Page 264

Is There a Santa Claus?

Yes, Virginia . . .

We take pleasure in answering at once and thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of THE SUN. "DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old. "Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. "Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.' "Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus? "VIRGINIA O'HANLON. "115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET." VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, VIRGINIA, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, VIRGINIA, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Is There a Santa Claus? Editorial in The (New York) Sun Written by Francis P. Church September 20, 1897